I am home. My trip to California to film for Pilates Anytime and attend the PMA conference was absolutely amazing. For me, this trip was an unbelievable professional experience, but I also learned a lot about myself. I was constantly brought to tears by the fact that I’m a different person today than I was 365 days ago.
I walked through the doors of Pilates Anytime this year and filmed 3 videos that I’m already proud of even though I haven't seen the final product. I drove myself from Santa Barbara to Palm Springs in a rental car and didn’t crash it or get lost. I spent 4 days making new friends, hugging friends I’ve never met in person before, and watching old friends move mountains. Most importantly though I experienced a deep, deep feeling of gratitude for my family.
There are times I feel like 2 people. Some days I transition between Pilates and Momming like a ninja, but most days I’m more like a hot, stressed-out mess. My family is left to deal with me being distracted and constantly immersed in my career.
I am so grateful for the man who’s rarely seen but keeps this crazy woman moving forward on a daily basis. He brought chocolate, flowers, and our babies to the airport last night to pick me up. I cried so hard when I wrapped my arms around him because in that moment I wasn't confused. I was crystal clear on how lucky I am. I could not do anything without him by my side. Anything.
I’m so happy to be home with a fresh perspective on what I have already and what I want for my future. At the top of the list are days with my people that are less distracted by work and full of all the feels. Some days that means arguments, long nights of homework, and forgetting to pack lunches because that’s the way it usually goes. I just want to be present when all of that is happening. I also intend to continue to pursue a kickass career. That will come with plenty of mistakes as well, but I’m not going to give up on my career just because it’s too hard to do it all!
I’m just going to have to do it with a little less pressure from Martha Stewart, Carol Brady, and all of the ridiculous preconceived ideas I have in my head of what being a working mom looks like. I’m going to do it MY way which will be full of flaws and hopefully a few successes too. I’ll update you in another 365 days.